Cheaters Repent!

Yesterday, Jesse James apologized for cheating on his wife, Sandra Bullock. Today I heard the Bounty Hunter, Duane “Dog” Chapman, admit in a radio interview he had fooled around on his wife. "But not lately" he said. That’s reassuring.

Do you think Tiger Woods is feeling a little relieved hearing these celebrity confessions? Perhaps Wood’s recent public apology has prompted more men (and some women too) to fess up to their indiscretions. This could be the start of a clear your conscience fad. Confess all your sex sins while it’s trendy! Oh please don’t let this catch on: we’ve heard enough about your personal problems already.

It’s not even news anymore when you hear of a celebrity or politician cheating on their spouse. It’s pretty much expected, and has lost any shock value. Before long, being unfaithful will be acceptable like “Okay, go have your fling, and get it over with, you were going to do it anyway! But just remember mister, you’re going to pay for it, big time! Men will start overhearing their wives saying :“Hmm, this diamond looked bigger when he bought it and where did I put that Gucci catalogue.”

Congratulations on winning the Oscar for the best waste of 3 hours + of my life

We are going to see some happy faces tonight at the Academy awards, when Oscars are handed out to all the winners. A number of actors will be beaming with pride and shedding tears of joy and appreciation, while thanking their family, supporters and God (yes, God really did want you to win that Oscar, so he pulled a few strings). But sadly as we know, there will be many times more actors, directors etc. who will have to settle for the biggest loser category. Naturally they'll put on a brave smiling face while pretending to show support for the winner of their category. That is all part of acting experience, but we know in our hearts they are human, like ourselves, who are envious, greedy and very competitive. Hey, it's part of this dog eat cat world, but that's another issue.

So it's very competitive , this Hollywood acting business, and having an Oscar is like having Tiger Wood's stature as a pro athlete (that may not be the best analogy these days in retrospect) . An Oscar may not guarantee an actor more film roles, but it won't count against them either, unless producers are worried about having to pay their Oscar winning star in sacks of gold.

Well I'm tuning into the the big event tonight to check out the main attaction: Which is of course, Steve Martin and Alex Balwin portraying, two wild and crazy kind of guy co-hosts. And good luck to all the nominees and congratulations to all the losers, who will smile bravely in defeat. You deserve an award for that performance. Maybe the award show should take a page out of the Olympics book and give a silver and bronze Oscar to the runners-up. Now that would be worth staying up for.

Excitement grows as Oscars only weeks, oh! only hours away

Since I haven't seen any films this year, it is going to be difficult to predict any Academy award winners. I've heard Avatar has a good chance since it was a big box office winner. Money matters in Tinsel Town, so it could pull off the best picture. Actually I don't care. I really don't care, plus I don't even know the names of so many actors ( exception being the chick from Alien's) and I'm quickly losing interest in Hollywood. Why do we care about these people. Are our lives that meaningless that we have to covet these bigger than life stars? Time for a reality check, and then to get a life.

Come on people, start cherishing your family, your kids, your spouse or partner, your parents and your friends. Entertainers are simply that: they are only there to serve their own best interests and couldn't give a rat's ass about you. So stop with the oogling will you, and look around at your family: these are the people that matter to you, right? Okay, that's my sermon for today.

Gordon Lightfoot surprises everyone anouncing he's still alive

Life long fans of Canadian singer songwriter Gordon Lightfoot were shocked to hear today that the legendary folk singer is still alive. Internet rumours he had suddenly died brought widespread sadness and confusion across the nation, hurling the popular Lightfoot back into the spotlight. Blogs and news rooms across the country have been buzzing. Although the news of his death was most likely a cruel prank, the attention it has drawn is small in comparison to the number of fans who were shocked to hear he was still among the living. "This is unbelievable, I had no idea he was still with us!" said one joy filled fan "I thought for sure he had died years ago." Another self confessed former groupie uttered: "This is fantastic news and as soon as I get my hair permed I'm dusting off my albums and listening to 'If you could read my mind', over and over again."

Lightfoot took the prank in stride saying he was in good health and hasn't had so much air play in years. "This rumour is great for music sales but I wish someone had pulled it off years ago while most of my fans were still alive."

Stop worrying, it's not in the news

Like the old saying says: "Two heads are better than one" I'd like to think that a short blog is better than no blog at all. That's why I'm writing this at a ridiculous hour of the night (after 3:00 a.m.) and hoping at least one good thing can come out of this excrement (wish I could have thought of a better term to use) of words.

With negative news stories dominating the headlines, like the "exploding underwear airline passenger" Somali pirates, Tiger Wood's transgressions, John and Kate's dog and cat fight and nasty breakup, there sure doesn't seem to be much in the way of good news lately, is there?

Then it came to me. I haven't heard any bad news recently about deaths or serious sickness from the H1N1 flu virus. Does this mean it has disappeared? Has it been eradicated? Are we all safe now to remove our protective masks and can we shake hands once again? I'm tired of not knowing whether it's okay to shake someone's hand, or give them a non contaminating greeting. Maybe I'm being a little too optimistic here, but I'm hoping that the world has defeated the ugly swine flu bug and once again mankind is safe from extinction. However, I'm still a little afraid of reading tomorrow's headlines.

Back to work and I love my job: when's the next holiday?

Hopefully you had a great Christmas/New Year holiday break from the old grind. With most employees heading back to work , the Christmas holidays are beginning to seem like a fleeting memory. Wow, the time flies by fast during the holidays! I don't know which seems to go by faster: the actual holidays or the weeks of shopping days left before the holidays. Deep penetrating thoughts.


And I wonder how many people are really looking forward to getting back on the job? I expect not many. But how many are looking ahead to their next paid holiday. I expect it's crossed almost everyone's mind by now. Here in Ontario, the next paid holiday will be "Family Day" which falls on Monday February 15th, 2010 which is only just over a month away. Let's just see how fast the time flies until then...

Okay El Nino, you’re just screwing with me now!

I probably shouldn't write a blog at 3:00 a.m. This is what happens when I'm tired and grumpy:

Every year that I can remember having an El Nino weather effect, it was warm here in Canada. So what's the deal with this bitter cold fall/winter so far? Freezing my buttocks off is not how I envisioned this season. I expected at least a few days with warm, mind comfortable short sleeve weather.

And what do you have to say: Mr. Al-Gorebal Warming. What’s up with this lasting cold spell? I don’t mind choking on gas fumes if you can promise me a warm cozy winter. I believe in climate change, but it should be working in our favour. It’s supposed to be warmer now, isn’t it? I’m beginning to hallucinate that I’m stranded on a desert island in the middle of the St. Lawrence River, but in reality, I’m completely surrounded by huge banks of snow. How long do you expect us to hold out? And yes, I’m referring to all of us forgotten Canadians who have to suffer year after year, pretending to love the great outdoors in the winter, when really we hate it. Hate it I tell you! Can’t stand it much longer! I want answers! I want the truth! I can’t handle the truth!